The second full-length album from Australian singer/songwriter Julia Jacklin, Crushing embodies every possible meaning of its title word. Itβs an album formed from sheer intensity of feeling, an in-the-moment narrative of heartbreak and infatuation. And with her storytelling centered on bodies and crossed boundaries and smothering closeness, Crushing reveals how our physical experience of the world shapes and sometimes distorts our inner lives.
βThis album came from spending two years touring and being in a relationship, and feeling like I never had any space of my own,β says the Melbourne-based artist. βFor a long time I felt like my head was full of fear and my body was just this functional thing that carried me from point A to B, and writing these songs was like rejoining the two.β
The follow-up to her 2016 debut Donβt Let the Kids Win, Crushing finds Jacklin continually acknowledging whatβs expected of her, then gracefully rejecting those expectations. As a result, the album invites self-examination and a possible shift in the listenerβs way of getting around the worldβan effect that has everything to do with Jacklinβs openness about her own experience.
βI used to be so worried about seeming demanding that Iβd put up with anything, which I think is commonβyou want to be chill and cool, but it ends up taking so much of your emotional energy,β says Jacklin. βNow Iβve gotten used to calling out things Iβm not okay with, instead of just burying my feelings to make it easier on everyone. Iβve realized that in order to keep the peace, you have to speak up for yourself and say what you really want.β
Produced by Burke Reid (Courtney Barnett, The Drones) and recorded at The Grove Studios (a bushland hideaway built by INXSβ Garry Gary Beers), Crushing sets Jacklinβs understated defiance against a raw yet luminous sonic backdrop. βIn all the songs, you can hear every sound from every instrument; you can hear my throat and hear me breathing,β she says. βIt was really important to me that you can hear everything for the whole record, without any studio tricks getting in the way.β
On the album-opening lead single βBody,β Jacklin proves the power of that approach, turning out a mesmerizing vocal performance even as she slips into the slightest murmur. A starkly composed portrait of a breakup, the song bears an often-bracing intimacy, a sense that youβre right in the room with Jacklin as she lays her heart out. And as βBodyβ wanders and drifts, Jacklin establishes Crushing as an album that exists entirely on its own time, a work thatβs willfully unhurried.
From there, Crushing shifts into the slow-building urgency of βHead Alone,β a pointed and electrifying anthem of refusal (sample lyric: βI donβt want to be touched all the time/I raised my body up to be mineβ). βAs a woman, in my case as a touring musician, the way youβre touched is different from your male bandmatesβby strangers and by those close to you,β notes Jacklin. On the full-tilt, harmony-spiked βPressure to Party,β she pushes toward another form of emotional freedom. βWhen you come out of a relationship, thereβs so much pressure to act a certain way,β says Jacklin. βFirst itβs like, βOh, youβve gotta take some time for yourselfββ¦but then if you take too much time itβs, βYouβve gotta get back out there!β That song is just my three-minute scream, saying Iβm going to do what I need to do, when I need to do it.β Crushing also shows Jacklinβs autonomy on songs like βConvention,β an eye-rolling dismissal of unsolicited advice, presented in elegantly sardonic lyrics (βI can tell you wonβt sleep well, if you donβt teach me how to do it rightβ).
Elsewhere on Crushing, Jacklin brings her exacting reflection to songs on loss. With its transportive harmonies and slow-burning guitar solo, βDonβt Know How to Keep Loving Youβ ponders the heartache in fading affection (βI want your mother to stay friends with mine/I want this feeling to pass in timeβ). Meanwhile, on βTurn Me Downββan idiosyncratically arranged track embedded with hypnotic guitar tonesβJacklin gives an exquisitely painful glimpse at unrequited devotion (βHe took my hand, said I see a bright future/Iβm just not sure that youβre in itβ). βThat song destroyed me in the studio,β says Jacklin of βTurn Me Down,β whose middle section contains a particularly devastating vocal performance. βI remember lying on the floor in a total state between what felt like endless takes, and if you listen it kind of sounds like Iβm losing my mind.β And on βWhen the Family Flies In,β Jacklin shares her first ever piano-driven piece, a beautifully muted elegy for the same friend to whom she dedicated Donβt Let the Kids Win. βThere are really no words to do justice to what it feels like to lose a friend,β says Jacklin. βIt felt a bit cheap to even try to write a song about it, but this one came out on tour and it finally felt okay to record.
Despite its complexity, Crushing unfolds with an ease that echoes Jacklinβs newfound self-reliance as an artist. Originally from the Blue Mountains, she grew up on her parentsβ Billy Bragg and Doris Day records and sang in musicals as a child, then started writing her own songs in her early 20s. βWith the first album I was so nervous and didnβt quite see myself as a musician yet, but after touring for two years, Iβve come to feel like I deserve to be in that space,β she says.
Throughout Crushing, that sense of confidence manifests in one of the most essential elements of the album: the captivating strength of Jacklinβs lyrics. Not only proof of her ingenuity and artistic generosity, Jacklinβs uncompromising specificity and infinitely unpredictable turns of phrase ultimately spring from a certain self-possession in the songwriting process.
βAs I was making this album there was sort of a slow loosening of pressure on myself,β Jacklin says. βThereβve been some big life changes for me over the last few years, and I just found it too tiring to try to cover things up with a lot of metaphors and word trickery. I just wanted to lay it all out there and trust that, especially at such a tense moment in time, other people might want to hear a little vulnerability.β